So TrumPutin's head is photoshopped on Stallone's body. He's so proud, suddenly no longer obese. The base is proud, too, seeing nothing unusual in their favorite clown adopting a fictitious body to go along with the orange skin and ridiculous hair. Other photshopping that should be added to the swole TrumPutin collection: His head on a person reading a book, creating a first for Trumputin, real or imaginary. His head on Jesus, to confirm for Rick Perry the idea of TrumPutin as the savior, the chosen one, the real estate developer from heaven. His head on Jim Mattis' body, so TrumPutin can pretend that he served in the military and had no issues with imaginary bone spurs. His head on Hillary's body, so he can pretend he won the popular vote. His head on Obama's body, to create the idea that he knows what the hell he is doing. His head on Rudy's body, so he can pretend he has had three wives, lies every time he opens his mouth, and makes no sense - oops, not necessary. Putin's head on TrumPutin's body, creating a vision of the person TrumPutin really wants to be, if he ever grows up. Putin, of course, does the thinking for both of them.
Blatherskite
TrumPutin is mentally ill. He rages like Lear, without the benefit of ever having read a line of Shakespeare. Democrats, Shithole countries, Muslims, Mexican rapists and drug dealers, the Squad, Baltimore, Democrats, the Federal Reserve, Witch Hunts, Hoaxes, His Generals, Bad Generals, Obama, etc. etc. etc. Nonsense, Lies, Fairy Tales, Blather. Anyone who opposes him - anyone and anything that does not buy into the myth of his genius and historical whatever - is on the receiving end of a scathing tweet from the Moron-in-Chief. The consummate liar, the die-hard coward, the pussy-grabbing-evangelical-in-chief, the once-and-future real estate charlatan, rails against all his enemies, howling at the moon and flying off to campaign events to soothe his savage and ignorant soul. His lieutenants, cowed into submission and obeisance by TrumPutin and the threats of his savage and ignorant base, or his savage and ignorant lawyers, hunker in their weakness, summoning the temerity to castigate the Democrats' process while offering no evidence of innocence. Blatherskite, impeachable blatherskite
Pungent Advice
Moscow Mitch stooped to pen an op-ed in the Washington Post, his sage vitriol telling what a horror had been done to the Kurds. It was impossible for him to write out "Trump," so he emulated the Racist-in-Chief and blamed Obama. He and the other lick-spittles are loathe to criticize their leader, knowing that to do so would imperil them in the eyes of the leader's base. And that horde is now vital to Mitch's own debased policies, so his defense of a liar and profligate and coward is imperative. And so easy for him to rationalize. He and Lindsey both hate what has been done to the Kurds, and what has been gifted to the Russians, but they also love the perks at the Trumpian trough, so they lament in soft tones. And they mirror the screeching from their favorite man-child: it was Obama's fault. The recourse of blaming a black man has always been dear to their heart, and now they have the cover to make the claim in every circumstance. They will never will resort to decency, that being a characteristic of Obama's and incompatible with their own pseudo-Christian souls. But even this mild and indirect criticism too will pass, and the stalwart sycophants will debase themselves as commanded by their jefe. It is a small price to pay for judges, tax cuts, de-regulation, oil, and invitations to Mar-muy-Largo. A grand old party, indeed.
Expiration Date
Steve Mnuchin, he of the exquisite ethics and morals, will attend this year's financial party in Saudi Arabia. No doubt, the coterie normally attending will drag along: the TrumPutin children Jared and Ivanka, plus Cabinet scofflaws Ross, et al., and economic advisors desperate to cash in before their idol is impeached and convicted. Last year, out of deference to the bad optics surrounding the Saudis' murder and mutilation of Jamal Khashoggi, the TrumPutin heavy-hitters stayed away from the party. But it's been a year; Khashoggi is old news and there is so much good coming out of Saudi Arabia - extended stays at Trump Hotels, oil production protected by U.S. troops, climate change outweighed by development and jobs, etc. The good news to TrumPutin fans is that the expiration date on morals in the TrumPutin regime is one year. When morals and ethics erupt in his regime, they put a damper on economic virtue that is depressing to the true TrumPutin stalwart. Almost as depressing as wildlife getting in the way of timber roads and oil exploration. The better news for TrumPutinistas is the proof that ethics will have only a rare and temporary impression on TrumPutin, Goldman Sachs, or anyone serving at the whim of the Moron-in-Chief. Ethics and morals will always be a passing spasm for them. Small government requires small, temporary morals and ethics. So they will go to Saudi Arabia, celebrate the Crown Prince, forget murder and celebrate plausible deniability, and convince the Crown Prince to stay more often at Trump Hotels. It's TrumPutin's foreign policy.
Beautiful Memories
Rick Perry and Gordon Sondland, two of the intellectual heavyweights in the TrumPutin regime, have both testified that, while they were part of the team of three amigos working for and with Rudy G to subvert American democracy, neither really knew what the apoplectic attorney was up to. Rick Perry, he of the good-hair and eyeglasses-for-intellectual-heft, says that there was nothing "untoward" about the their efforts. The only problem with that explanation is: one, Perry has no idea that "untoward" is a word; and two, he is incapable of recognizing an untoward activity. His entire career has been built on untoward activities, from gutting the Texas higher education system, to installing creationists as textbook approvers, to allowing oil companies to do anything they want, anywhere they want to do it in Texas, and, last but not least, to being a cheerleader for Texas A&M. Sondland says he worked with Rudy but has no idea what Rudy was up to. Not a sparkling defense for an ambassador, but Sondland is a hotel guy who bought his ambassadorship. He hates getting stuck in policy. Hearing of his minions' explanations and their spotty recollection, TrumPutin was quick to laud their "beautiful memories" and cooperation. Rudy's interference and his own incoherence are proof that minions could not have done anything untoward -- because Rudy and TrumPutin beat them to it. Falling back on his most useful defenses, TrumPutin claims stupidity, executive privilege, immunity, evangelicals, and, if all that fails, there is always the 5th Amendment.
Porn Stars and Attorneys
Two professions important and highly visible in the TrumPutin regime are porn stars and attorneys, in order of importance and esteem. While TrumPutin would prefer to govern with the assistance of porn stars and Playmate Bunnies, sadly, he has to have a team of lawyers equal in number to the Republican senators willing to give up their scruples on their leader's behalf. The newest addition to the legal braintrust is rumored to be the erstwhile Trey Gowdy, he of the odd, multiple, and ever-changing hair styles. He was the House leader of the Benghazi investigations, clusterf***ks of epic proportions. He will be at home with TrumPutin, and more at home with Rudy G, the only person in D.C. who can make Mikey Pompeo look statesmanlike. Gowdy once recommended to TrumPutin that, if he were innocent (subjunctive mood trey important in the phrasing), he should act like it. Trey seems to have abandoned that earlier sage advice, as good as is likely to come from any former or current House Republican leader. Now Trey is throwing in with the likes of Devon Nunez, Kevin McCarthy, and the other mindless, sycophantic House Republicans, who prefer putting forth theories of quasi-innocence, conspiracy theory plots, and wishful-thinking interpretations of the conversations and actions of their esteemed moron-in-chief. Nobody in Republican circles wants impeachment, not because it is unwarranted but because it will mean they have to find a new place to golf. Plus, Stormy Daniels is never there anymore. Leadership is so hard these days, guys.
Great and Unmatched for Whatever
So, we have gone from stable genius to great and unmatched wisdom. In a great and unmatched psychopath, to boot. If the average game show fan were to see "Great and Unmatched" as a category, what would the responses be? In a sane world: I'll take Great and Unmatched for $100. The answer is: "What are TrumPutin's business failures?" I'll take Great and Unmatched for $200. The answer is: "What are TrumPutin's moral failures, except in the eyes of white supremacists, where he is the God who answers their prayers?" I'll take Great and Unmatched for $300. The answer is: "What are TrumPutin's political failures, including but not limited to his hypocrisy, lauding the military while refusing to serve and re-routing their resources to fictional national emergencies; giving tax breaks to himself and the wealthy while promising to help his base; raping the land, polluting the water, fouling the air, all in the name of non-existent jobs but for the benefit of powerful men who control him; and, of course, shithole countries, infestations, Muslim bans, border walls, etc.?" I'll take Great and Unmatched for $400. The answer is: "What is TrumPutin's misogyny, which is at least devoid of any prejudice, as he will insult and degrade women of all races, creeds, and colors, including those currently and formerly in his family?" And for the biggest category, I'll take Great and Unmatched for $1,000. And the answer is: "What is his hatred and fear of President Obama, whose popularity he will never match, whose intelligence he will never approach, whose skills he will never possess, whose crowds he will never get close to, and whose Nobel Prize he will never be awarded?" TrumPutin's only real great and unmatched quality is his smallness as a human being. Unmatched, indeed.
When the 5th Amendment Isn’t Good Enough
It's a special era of lawlessness when the criminals get to decide whether they will come to the trial or deign to testify. TrumPutin huddles behind legal protestations of innocence like "the call was perfect, the call was wonderful, the call didn't happen the way the transcript said, the call never happened, the call was made by Obama, I just got a voicemail." And the others - ambassadors, personal attorney, secretary of State (or what is left of State), Attorney General (leader of what remains of the Justice department) - all claim executive privilege, inconvenience, the claims of the Founding Fathers, or amnesia. TrumPutin makes it difficult when he denies that he asked a foreign government to investigate his political rival for him, then claims omnipotence to ask a foreign government to investigate his political rival for him, then makes a public appeal to a foreign government to investigate his political rival for him, then denies he asked a foreign government to investigate a political rival for him. The question is whether to impeach the scoundrel, or to institutionalize the lunatic. Alas, his Cabinet, personal attorney, ambassadors, advisors, and Vice-TrumPutin can't be impeached or institutionalized with him.
Treason, Sayeth the King
And so now it's treasonous to oppose the King. TrumPutin vows that anyone questioning his authority or prerogatives, and certainly anyone challenging the stupidity and hatred that forms the basis for his policies and actions, is a spy and a traitor. TrumPutin believes wholeheartedly, based on the reading of the Constitution by his Attorney General and his personal attorney, and in the words of autocrats everywhere and from all time, that he is the State. Not the Deep State, which is comprised of Democrats and teenagers interested in changing the destruction of climate change, but the Good State, the one that rewards friends and family, and most of all, oneself. So a challenge to his "perfect" call has to be dealt with by maximum force. Ironically, his call came closer to transparency than most of his other claims, and his request of the Ukrainian president was clear in its purpose. Help me, comrade, and your rewards will be aid, and other emoluments that I and Moscow Mitch and other true believers can contrive. Oh, my, "perfect" is too casual a term for such cooperation. "Bribery" is a more succinct term, "corruption" is appropriate, but perhaps the best description of the call is "treason."
Crown Prince and Clown Prince
The tragedy of TrumPutin's foreign policy is that there is none. And when he or his minions attempt to adopt a policy all they do is illustrate how stupid they are. Pompeo the idolator tries so ardently to curry favor with TrumPutin that he becomes the Clown Prince, mouthing the fables that his boss believes and smirking his way across the Sunday news shows. He is always alert to what TrumPutin thinks he knows and believes at the moment, and tries to apply a coherency to the changing policies of his leader. At the moment, Pompeo and TrumPutin are eager to assuage the ego of the Crown Prince and ensure the supply of cheap oil, and so they applaud the Saudi claims that Iran bombed their oil fields. They require no evidence, not even the fabrication that Crown Prince's military hacks invent. The evidence that Saudi Arabia provides is ironclad, according to Pompeo, and because it is ironclad to Pompeo, it saves TrumPutin from having to think about it. He accepts Pompeo's word for it, and Pompeo accepts the Crown Prince's lackeys' word for it. Both Pompeo and TrumPutin have had practice in taking the Crown Prince's words as truth, as they did when they accepted the solemn vows that the Crown Prince had no involvement in Jamal Khashoggi's death. The evidence the Crown Prince has shared on the death of Khashoggi is as unbelievable as what he has provided regarding the bombing of his oil fields. He is not to be believed on either issue. That is not enough to discredit him in the eyes of TrumPutin and his Clown Prince. The Crown Prince and his servants are lying, and that TrumPutin and his Clown Prince are willing to accept the lies in their effort to produce a coherent or defensible foreign policy. One that is centered on TrumPutin's hotels and oil, in that order.