TrumPutin rails against Maduro, the only dictator he can't abide. Bolton and Pompeo rail against socialism, and cast Maduro as the emblem of that hated system.
And they ignore the similarities.
Personal plunder of the government for his own riches? Their man matches Maduro emolument for emolument, and then raises him a golf resort.
Familial gain? Yet TrumPutin employs all his children and enlists his wife to preach against all those bullies who dislike her husband and the fine people among white nationalists he adores.
Allowing corporations to regulate themselves, and giving petro-chemical companies free rein to drill anywhere they want and export the oil and gas for their own profit? Maduro is faulted for bankrupting his country and using its natural resources to reward his friends. Policies that TrumPutin, Ryan Zinke, and Scott Pruitt are envious of.
Maduro is hated by the NRC, but if he were the governor of Louisiana, he would be the keynote speaker at the 2020 Republican National Convention.
TrumPutin's PR team, the most vital group in his regime and the one with the hardest job, is spinning Trump's stupidity to claim that there is no case that he colluded or obstructed.
How can he collude when he can't even compose his own policy tweets?, KellyAnne and Sarah, etal ask.
How can he obstruct when his entire career has been a failed obstruction?, his attorneys all say.
They point to Mueller as the absolver and simultaneously the most vengeful Republican ever.
But Mueller exonerated no one. He did take some solace on behalf of the nation that TrumPutin, his family, and his advisors are all too stupid to succeed at colluding, though eager to join hands with Vladimir and his minions.
Mueller indicted convicted Gates, Manafort, and Papadopoulos, and indicted multiple Russians and Roger Stone, who waits for his trial, conviction, and pardon.
There is no do-over necessary, only the completion of the investigation of the most corrupt president in our history. We miss Nixon!
Kudlow goes on television determined to agree with his boss, a most disagreeable guy. And very stupid, with the arrogance to prove it.
First, Kudlow agrees with the idea that China pays tariffs. Stupid number 1.
Then, he says they sort of pay the tariffs because in a real roundabout way they might in fact notice the tariffs and agree that they are stupid. Stupid number 2.
Then, he says that China doesn't pay tariffs, but that doesn't matter because the tariffs are necessary because his moronic boss says they are necessary. Stupid number 3.
The next day his boss declares via his thumbs that, true, the tariffs are not paid by the Chinese, but the Chinese still suffer because of the tariffs and soon we will win the trade war. Stupid number 4.
And, finally, the moron-in-chief declares via his thumbs that China pays the tariffs.
Stupid 5 - The Economy 0
TrumPutin and the real Putin celebrated William Barr's version of the Mueller report in an hour-long phone call, where they also renewed their wedding vows and also agreed that TrumPutin's prior views on Venezuela meant nothing and that Kim was also a dictator.
The giddiness the real dictator and his Apprentice felt was described by the Apprentice dictator when he claimed that his idol smiled while stating that the Mueller report was "a mouse." That is a view shared by Barr, the Attorney General for both TrumPutin and Putin.
TrumPutin's celebratory phone call will be noted for his sharing the joy over his faux innocence with the leader of the country universally regarded as meddling in elections across the world. No collusion, indeed!
As either footnotes or features of the call, depending on the attention span of TrumPutin and Fox State News, the call also featured TrumPutin's acquiescence to Putin's Venezuela policy and repudiation of his Secretary of State, and an agreement that North Korea could de-nuclearize without actually de-nuclearizing.
Pompeo will issue a statement that agrees that TrumPutin's view of Russia'a Venezuela policy is what the Secretary of State meant when he stated the opposite earlier in the week, and vice versa. Sarah Sanders said the same thing immediately before she said the opposite, and vice versa. MAGA?
William Barr, heavy-jowled and thin-skinned, like his dictator, tells the country, "Don't believe what Mueller writes, believe what I tell you."
And then he lies, or prevaricates, or selects phrases, or invents what he wants to believe.
"There was no collusion," Barr says.
Not for lack of trying, Mueller explains.
"There was no obstruction, no indictments," Barr says.
We would have exonerated Trump if we could, Mueller explains. We cannot.
"Total exoneration," the dictator-in-chief crows.
We won't indict a sitting president, Mueller explains. After he leaves office, who knows?
Keep your lawyers, TrumPutin. Except Rudy, he doesn't help you.
Barr wants to save his dictator. So he does what not even Jeff Sessions would not do. The administration that diminishes those who serve it. Mutual self-destruction as policy. MAGA?
Cartoons by Troy Barbados