Monthly Archives: January 2021

Ex-Dictators from Mar muy Largo

Now?!

Moscow Mitch dictates that the Senate will not be bullied into voting for $2,000 coronavirus relief.

They will not be bullied, because according to Moscow Mitch, it is the Democrats doing the bullying, not the Bloated, Orange Disaster in the White House.

And the $2,000 checks, called for by the Bloated, Orange Disaster, are really the doings of Democrats who are trying to use socialism for their rich friends.

And Moscow Mitch is against socialism for the rich. Now.

When it was tax cuts, he was all for socialism for his rich friends.

When Kentucky was feeding at the federal trough, thanks in huge measure to Mrs. Moscow Mitch, he was all for it.

When “small” corporations were using the first Coronavirus relief package to pay dividends, reward CEOs, and lay off hourly workers, Moscow Mitch was all for socialism for his rich friends.

Now, with a Democratic president and the prospect of a different sort of leadership — that is, not a demented, arrogant, ignorant scofflaw and his family that Moscow Mitch can toady up to and get what he wants — Moscow Mitch is suddenly against socialism.

Republicans are such pillars of hypocrisy. And Moscow Mitch is their leader.

Dictator-in-Chief, Ex-Dictators from Mar muy Largo

Sir Loin, or Devon

According to legend, Charles II of France once knighted a particularly good joint of beef, giving it the name Sir Loin.

Now, the noble Orange Sort-of-King-but-Really-a-Fat-Stupid-Imbecile has decided to give Devon Nunes the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Everyone, on both sides, thinks the sirloin is more deserving.

Sure, Devon is genuinely stupider than the Orange-Sort-of-King, and that is not an accomplishment easily won.

Sure, Devon kept the Orange-Sort-of-King updated on the impeachment charges and led the defense team from behind, which is Devon’s favorite position.

Sure, Devon can’t outdo the Orange-Sort-of-King in the contests of naming man, woman, camera.

Sure, Devon is so devoid of scruples that even sycophants to the Orange-Sort-of-King cringe when he says anything.

Still, he is at least as good a Trump Republican congressman as a sirloin would be, and the sirloin would never worry about having to depend on a presidential pardon to go along with Medal of Freedom.

Ex-Dictators from Mar muy Largo

I’ll Walk with You (Wink, Wink)

So, the lead insurrectionist and liar-in-chief addressed his band of followers, and after pandering to them with insipid and insincere  compliments, he told them, “We’re gonna walk down, and I’ll be there with you.”

And the morons believed the moron-in-chief. They believed the obese cloud of statins and blood pressure medicine who has never walked anywhere, not even from his office to the cafeteria for a cheeseburger.

He doesn’t walk the golf course, where someone else carries his clubs for him.

He doesn’t walk around the neighborhood, unless it’s to waddle over to the nearest church, with a Bible that he’s never read, to wave it around claiming something having to do with his greatness.

And so his moronic followers walk to the Capitol, turn into a mob and destroy things, and the insurrectionist-in-chief tells them that he loves them, and they’re special, and he loves them.

But he’s not gonna walk anywhere with them. And the morons cheer, Make America Whatever.