Bolton and Pompeo want war, and they think they can convince TrumPutin.
TrumPutin thinks he doesn't want war, but isn't sure, so he needs Bolton and Pompeo to help him sound tough instead of stupid.
And Iran could avoid all this and become a truly rich country, if they would only book rooms at Trump Towers or not develop a nuclear weapon, in that order.
The Ayatollah could have a Trump Towers in Tehran, if he wanted; a Kushner office building, if he wanted; a line of Ivanka's chic hijabs, if he wanted.
All the Iranians have to do is whatever TrumPutin tells them to do. And let Bolton fulminate. And listen to Pompeo after he waddles to the camera and lectures them about American interests in the Persian Gulf.
Together, TrymPutin, Bolton and Pompeo are going to write a book titled, Foreign Policy for Idiots: How We Do It. And they won't need to put their names on it. The evidence points to them, convincingly.
MIGA? It fits on a red hat.
Steve Mnuchin, a name synonymous with sycophancy.
Defending "fine people" on both sides was crass, given what the "fine people" on TrumPutin's side were saying. Taking his vacations and jaunts on the government's tab is standard practice for TrumPutin's administration and even more standard practice for the Goldman Sachs team. Refusing to hand over tax returns and begging the DOJ for an excuse, which Barr was only too happy to provide, was a requirement for Steve to keep his job.
And now he tells us that putting Harriet Tubman's picture on the $20 bill is technically impossible, and the decision has nothing to do with politics. Even Steve couldn't bring himself to say that it had nothing to do with the racism of his boss, though. Sycophancy has its limits, even for Steve.
But no one believes him, except TrumPutin. And that is the only one Steve has to please, after all. TrumPutin admires Andrew Jackson, the hard case who certainly would have been proud to separate families, condemn Mexico for not paying for a wall to mollify his base, and TrumPutin longs for the day when he can march his opponents away in his own Trail of Tears.
Besides, Harriet Tubman would never have stayed in Trump Towers, and that is something neither TrumPutin nor Steve can forgive.
There are so many lies that TrumPutin wants to tell, but he hasn't the time in a day to get to all of them. So he hires liars.
Some of his liars don't last; they are indicted, forced to resign, or he judges them inadequate at making the preposterous acceptable to his base, or the Republicans in the Senate.
Some get tired; they resign to pursue other opportunities, most of them at Fox State News or with companies TrumPutin needs to mollify.
Some are terrible at lying, like his children and their spouses, but they need free trips and vacations. Others, like Wilbur Ross and Mnuchin, are terrible, but they pay the bills for the campaign. What's a grifter to do?
Then there are bishops and cardinals of lying that Trump truly admires. Pompeo, Bolton, Navarro, Miller. They can drum up the lies on Iran, immigration, tariffs. Anything to make the dictator wanna-be happy.
And when they tell us that, really, Iran did attack those tankers, and this time we're not making this stuff up, they want us to believe them. Idiots!!!
Tell it to the base - they'll believe anything. MAGA, or not.
Pompeo plods his way to the podium, where in the course of his somber explanation of Iran's duplicity, he tells us that the U.S. will counter any Iranian actions that threaten U.S. interests in the Persian Gulf.
Imagine that! Iran trying to exert influence in the Persian Gulf! What's next? Saudi Arabia wanting the U.S. to sell them billions of dollars of weapons, including nuclear technology? Oh, wait.
The Monroe Doctrine sucks, but Pompeo's Whatever Doctrine is worse. Stupidity explained by a shill for the benefit of his boss, an idiot too stupid to know any of the big words that Mike uses.
Nobody believes you, Mike. Not even the Crown Prince.
Cartoons by Troy Barbados