TrumPutin, the man least likely to step into a church ever, wants churches to open up this weekend. He tells us America needs "more prayers these days." Damn right America needs more prayers!! The main reason America needs more prayers is that TrumPutin is in the White House. If he and his band of numskulls could show more kindness, decency, and intelligence, then the need for prayer would not be so dire. No shitholes, no lies, no racism, no walls, no apologies for white supremacy, no denial of climate change or virus, no pandering to fossil fuel corporations. But since this decency-starved leader and his band of religious zealots show no understanding, decency, or aptitude, more prayer would definitely help. Or at least not hurt. The only ability TrumPutin and his idiots have shown in three years is how to enrich themselves, soak taxpayers for their own profit, and auction the government to the lowest bidder. Yes, more prayer is needed in America. Especially the prayer that TrumPutin is defeated in November and that the immoral, greedy, hateful, and unfaithful leader and his enablers go away. Damn right we need more prayer!!
Category Archives: Cartoons
Shut Up, Mitch
So Moscow Mitch is crying now that Obama left TrumPutin nothing to help with pandemics. Oh, really?! A 69-page plan for dealing with pandemics isn't enough? Or was Obama supposed to read it to the Big Orange, when the Big Orange wasn't butt-deep in Fox News? And an agency fully funded and working to deal with pandemics, which TrumPutin dismantled, de-funded, and forgot about. And Mitch's apology that he made a mistake. Why ?Not because he knew it was a lie when he said it, and said it anyway to curry favor with the imbecile he shills for? But only because he was called on it. Moscow Mitch never does anything scrupulous, or honest, and only apologizes after the initial accusation has been thoroughly digested by the cretins that make up the base. Obama left a Supreme Court nomination with Mitch, for eleven months, and Comrade Mitch didn't deign to bring the nomination to a vote, and didn't find his stalling, or the support of his fellow GOP senators to stall, offensive. But he finds the work of Speaker Pelosi too partisan for his fragile psyche, and the Obamagate drivel from his leader not partisan enough. So, Mitch, shut up and go make America whatever -- you have until January.
Intelligence?
Now that the effort by Barr to grope around for innocence has revealed that no one believes in his or Flynn's or TrumPutin's innocence, we are left with another question: why was this idiot of a general going to be in charge of intelligence, in the first place? A guy who confessed, twice, in open court. He apologized for his behavior. He was defended by one of the premier law firms in the country. Pence knew Flynn had lied to him. TrumPutin fired Flynn for lying to Pence. Flynn could have at any point said that he had not lied, he could claimed his innocence, pretended he was TrumPutin and the Russian ambassador was Stormy Daniels and denied he ever saw they guy. So, why was this guy -- outmaneuvered by the Russians, confused by whether or not he lied or, at the very least, whether he should have admitted it, twice, in court -- ever considered for National Security Advisor? He's unfit for any job requiring, or having anything to do with, intelligence. Why did TrumPutin think Flynn would be good as National Security Advisor? Was it because he chanted "lock her up" on cue? Was it because TrumPutin always chooses idiots to be around him. Flynn is guilty. He knows it, Barr knows it, and TrumPutin knows it. Fortunately. so does the judge. Make America whatever.
Speaking of …
Speaking of the corruption, stupidity, and utter rubbish that is the Trumputin regime, the three current stalwarts of corruption and stupidity, TrumPutin, Barr, and Pompeo, have spoken the choicest examples, this week, of all that is the worst of themselves and their world view. In pushing for an"opened" country, aka an economy that he can claim as his own, and exclude the deaths due to his delay and corruption, TrumPutin says that the country must be opened. "Will some be effected? Yes. Will some be effected badly? Yes." There was no detail how some would be effected badly. Because the comforter-in-chief is such an idiot, we aren't sure whether he means some will die, or that some will have to settle for a crappy tee time at their golf club. We won't know what TrumPutin means by "badly effected," until his staff tells us what he meant. Barr, the poster child for a political system of justice, declaims that in putting aside Flynn's guilty plea (twice in open court), "I want to make sure that we restore confidence in the system." He didn't say which system, but confidence has been restored, since his appointment, in the system where friends of TrumPutin get preferential treatment, whether the offense is treason, other corruption, jury tampering, or garden-variety contract preference for building idiotic walls. That system is well entrenched and we need no further assistance from Barr to prove it. And speaking of well-upholstered ignoramuses flouting a pseudo-patriotism and convenient religiosity, Mike Pompeo tells us that his assessment of Chinese deception in the midst of the Coronavirus typifies "the kinds of disinformation, the kinds of concealment, that authoritarian regimes do." Of course, he implicitly exonerates TrumPutin's authoritarian regime, which misinforms and conceals daily. Hidden tax returns, concealed information that the Big Orange had of the virus many months ago, misinformed summaries of the Mueller report, hidden parts of that report that Barr says no one can see, undisclosed bases for regulation rollbacks that favor corporate America and kill middle America, etc. etc. etc. Authoritarian regimes, indeed, Mr. Secretary. Make America whatever. You really don't care, so you?
The Little Town Hall That Couldn’t
TrumPutin with his State News affiliates at the Lincoln Memorial. And yet ... It was not presidential, despite the trappings. It was not truthful ... just as none of the other previous iterations of the same Fake Presidency shows have been truthful. It was a national embarrassment ... just like every utterance since "American carnage," now almost a million years ago, it seems. It was grotesque. It was the standard anti-Obama fare. Obsessing over a REAL President, one who could actually read, and did. The facial expressions were genuine -- the standard Mussolini impersonation, jutting jaw and moronic stare. The attempt to look as though he's paying attention, when it's clear he is wondering how long he will have to sit there and when can he get back to the last episode of The Bachelor and those remarkable ratings. The repetition of lies, avoiding responsibility, deflecting culpability, denying corruption. Self-congratulatory praise, self-adulation, and, sadly, the uncle who transferred his genes to a moronic nephew. A campaign rally that didn't rally, a leader who didn't lead, and a disgusting, ignorant narcissist who disappointed again. The Little Town Hall that Couldn't ... Make America whatever ...
Sarcastic, but still Stupid
Every time TrumPutin opens his mouth, he says something stupid. Or sarcastic. The difference is that when he says something stupid, nobody corrects him. Good people among the White nationalists; or I knew it was a pandemic before anyone else, even while I was telling everyone it was a hoax and not a pandemic, which was when I was cheerleading for the nation, by telling a lie, which everyone knew was a lie. No one corrects those stupid lies. Sarcastic is when one of his sycophants tells him, in a very supportive way, that he has said something stupid. For instance, when he says that drinking Lysol or Clorox is a cure for the virus, or Noble isn't the way to spell the prizes from Finland or Denmark, or wherever the prize that Obama stole is from. So, really, stupid and sarcastic are the same thing, only apparent to his sycophants in different timeframes. Sarcastic is an excuse that he can employ when he says something that makes even his sycophants cringe, he can joke that he didn't mean it. That he was being sarcastic. As usual, he lies, first because he doesn't know what sarcastic means, and second, because he is most at home with stupidity, not sarcasm. He is, though, entirely caustic. And vile. And stupid. And a liar. But not sarcastic. Make America whatever ...
Mr. Pence Speaks
Sometimes, it is said, wisdom comes from the mouths of babes. Other times, well ... . So, when the leader of the White House Task Force on Coronavirus was asked about the need for more testing, we heard thusly: Thank you for that important question. And I would like to say, before I say anything else, that the universal testing which the country now enjoys is only possible because of the leadership of the president. So, some governors say that we need universal testing, and we in the White House completely agree. In fact, that is why we put universal testing into place. Some governors might say, would say, probably, that they do not have universal testing in their states. But we would say, first, that they do have universal testing, and, second, how do they know that they do not. If we count all the people that will be found to be negative for the Coronavirus, when and if we ever test them, and add them to the number of persons overall, we would find that those who are negative don't have to be tested. So, assuming that most people living are not positive to the extent that they can breathe and do not need to be hospitalized, I think that we have pretty near universal testing. Sí o no! And then, of course, there are the other sides of testing. Like, stopping immigration, which means we have effectively tested those we are not letting into the country, by not having to test them. And removing regulations, which means that testing isn't necessary for those people who succumb to poisons, crappy air, oil spills, or unsafe work spaces. Another win. And, of course, ratings for the 5 o'clock follies, which is the severest test for the nation. Make America whatever, y'all. And bring a gun.
Barr the Magnificent
William Barr, rescuer of all things corrupt in the TrumPutin regime, declares the Russia probe as one of the greatest travesties ever. He thereby becomes another in the long list of reasons why this group of scoundrels should be put out of its misery. Barr's disclosure is not surprising, as his only enduring qualification is an unshakable predisposition to do the wrong thing for the wrong reason. He sends an unsolicited memo to the Dept of Justice absolving TrumPutin, which is his resume and job application all in one. He misrepresents the conclusions in the Mueller report, declaring that Mueller exonerated TrumPutin, and disregarding Mueller's declaration that TrumPutin could NOT be exonerated. He claims the Russian probe was a travesty, the greatest in recent history, and that there was no justification, even though his department found justification and found no political bias in the investigation. Of course, the travesty is that TrumPutin was acquitted by a bare majority of senators who believed the Dershowitz theory that TrumPutin could not possibly have committed an impeachable offense, based on Area 51 of the U. S. Constitution. Barr has a vested interest in the corruption of the TrumPutin regime, as it plows forward with deregulation, judicial incompetence initiatives, and politico-religious demagoguery. Make America whatever, Billy Barr.
Cheerleader? Not Qualified, Moron
TrumPutin claims he sandbagged the country on the severity of the Coronavirus even though he knew it would be horrible, because he's, you know, a cheerleader for the country and he wanted to stay upbeat and cheery. TrumPutin, of course, won't admit that he, as usual, lied or didn't know what he hell he was saying, or both. So, instead, as usual, he lies and revises history. And Pence and Kushner, Grisham and Azar, nod and agree that he did not say what he said, but told the bald-faced truth, which is what he meant and would have said, if he were not an inveterate liar and moron. He has no qualifications for cheerleading, except some days the hair is almost good enough. He can clap his hands like a trained seal and yell and agitate his base at a rally where he foams and bashes Mexicans, blacks, liberals, and anyone who thinks. But he is not a cheerleader. We all knew Rick Perry, that Texas A & M cheerleader, and TrumPutin is no Rick Perry. Corruption, lying, taking medical advice from investment advisers and pharmaceutical executives, silencing medical experts is not cheerleading. Nor is it leadership. No, TrumPutin is not a cheerleader. Neither are his merry band of sycophants. Now, Rudy Giuliani, there's a cheerleader.
Convenience Lends its Powers to Corruption
It must be comforting to those charged with doling out the public largesse when circumstances contrive to abet their worst tendencies. Labor Czar Scalia, taking a break from representing corporate interests in private, does their bidding as a public officer. Thus, he says, he will ensure that the work force of the country does not get too much comfort from the Coronavirus relief bill enacted by Congress. It is not in their best interest, he sagely opines, for the working class to grow dependent on government aid. How true, Scalia. Becoming dependent on government aid might tempt them to change their names to Boeing, Tyson Foods, and Goldman Sachs, and incorporate, thus ensuring themselves of your support in growing dependent on government aid. Like coal companies, corporate farms, pharmaceuticals, professional sports, investment banking firms, and real estate developers, most glaringly of a grotesque orange tint. No, that won't do for mere laborers, who have become used to the paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle, and who would become slothful if their circumstances improved. See the lost causes above for examples. So, Scalia, pare the benefits down. Protect oligarchs and their interests. Pander to the leaders you serve and represent. But leave the laborers to fend for themselves, as always. Sicofante viscoso!