TrumPutin and William Barr: 500 pounds of humanity breathing hard just to get to the tee box. And bound together by a penchant for untruths, self-serving nonsense, and shamelessness.
Claiming exoneration, TrumPutin refuses under any circumstances to take Trey Gowdy's advice: if you're innocent, then act like it. Instead, TrumPutin proclaims his innocence and then acts like he's scared of anyone who refuses to pander to him, and unsatisfied with anything that is not a piece of flattering puffery.
Barr wrote the memo claiming a president could not under any circumstances obstruct justice, and proves his point by refusing to acknowledge obstruction when it is pointed out to him in 458 pages of detail. Barr knows it is his job to protect the boss, given that Rudy, et al. are incompetent to do so.
So the two overweight, overwrought, over-indulged idiots - arrogant, cynical, hypocritical - continue to bludgeon the Constitution, common decency and morality, all for tax cuts for the wealthy and de-regulation for the oligarchy.
Grotesqueness, at its worst and most visible.
On Thursday, 'Barr the Magnificent' will release a "lightly" redacted version of the Mueller report. Per 'Barr the Magnificent' and 'Rosenstein the Not Fired, Yet,' the redacted report will show that Mueller could find no intent on TrumPutin's part to obstruct justice.
Not finding a clear intent is related to the legal theory put forward already by TrumPutin's attorneys that he and his campaign were and are too stupid to collude. They would have liked to collude, as shown by the Trump Tower meeting of Jr., Jared, and Manafort, the hope that WikiLeaks would come through for them, and having campaign staff with decades long contacts with Russians. But they were too dumb to actually succeed.
Not understanding what he was saying when he dictated the lies for Jr.'s explanation of the meeting, or when he fired Comey, threatened Sessions, and so much more, TrumPutin will glow in the innocence of not obstructing justice, via stupidity.
The barely innocent TrumPutin, reveling in his quasi-innocence and proud of the fact that no one can say he was smart enough to know that Putin was playing him, will now make a victory lap of all the places where his stupidity is most revered, starting with Mar-muy-Largo, and ending at the golf course at Mar-muy-Largo.
Using the new power of Barr's legal theory, Trump's next move will be to prove that he was too stupid to file accurate tax reports. A slam dunk. MAGA!?
Maduro and TrumPutin seem like such a likely match, a pair whose mutual admiration could take them to the heights the enfant terrible has reserved for Putin, the Crown Prince, Duterte, al Sissi, Kim, the new Brazilian autocrat, and other right-wing loons who are willing to stay at Trump Towers.
But Pompeo and Bolton won't allow a romance to bud between the Venezuelan dictator and their dictator. Though they are kindred spirits, Maduro and TrumPutin will never be allowed to date, to have state dinners and cordial meetings together, and then lovingly plan subsequent state dinners and cordial meetings.
That wouldn't satisfy the base, whose antipathy to Kim can be set aside, as little rocket man and the senile dotard meet to plan how to avoid the nuclear conflagration that they invented by themselves to prove their manhoods.
The base will not tolerate, at least not yet, a meeting between their own grifter and a grifter who espouses a socialist viewpoint. Neither TrumPutin, his base, any of his advisors, nor Maduro can define exactly what they disagree on. No matter, the optics are bad, and that is what matters to Fox State News, and what they tell the base to believe.
The Venezuelan socialist and the president with convenient and shifting beliefs simply illustrate the Yin and Yang of dictatorial energies. They see much to admire in each other, if only one would agree to give his oil to America, and the other would open his gilded hotels in South America. Then love could truly blossom.
McConnell, Cornyn, Thune, etal. crowd around their leader, nodding at all he says, nodding forcefully at the strongest untruths.
The Republican Party will become the party of health care, Trump says, showing no sign that he disbelieves his own invention.
As he always does, Trump makes his declaration convinced that everyone will think he is telling the truth. It took until the end of his inaugural address to understand that he says only what is expedient and that he neither knows nor believes anything.
So, the Republican Party will become the party of health care. They will promote health services based on their notion of Christian sharia, priced to ensure Big Pharma prospers, HMO's prosper, and HCA and other hospital conglomerates prosper. Sales of luxury cars and yachts shall not falter as a primary policy point of part of Republican health care. Coverage will be limited to the healthy, and pre-existing conditions will be designated as socialist.
Yes, Republicans will become the party of their own health care. They welcome Trump as their spokesman and accept their position as his progeny.
When confronted with admitting the truth or telling a lie, TrumPutin's path never varies. Lying is his only real option. When he faces acknowledging an unpopular action, he goes for the big lie. Like his dictator role models.
So, when asked about separating families, he says: 1) Obama started it, 2) he, TrumPutin, stopped it, 3) the Trump regime does not do that, and 4) separating families would really help to solve the problem of welcoming the tired, poor, huddled masses.
First, Obama did not separate families, except when there was suspicion of domestic violence. Second, TrumPutin instituted family separation as a policy and he thinks separating families is a deterrent. Third, his hatred of Obama is now a certified pathology.
Stephen Miller is a turd, TrumPutin is a moral and ethical scarecrow, and his administration is the largest grouping of incompetents and toadies ever crowded together in one administration.
TrumPutin says firmly that the country is FULL, and there is no room. Spoken like the innkeepers of the New Testament, his favorite role models.
The leader of the fee (sic) world says that the U. S. is full, as though he knows that for a fact, and it is his prerogative to declare. What he doesn't say is when it became too full.
Was it after Melania got in? Was it after her parents followed her in that horrible, but forgivable to TrumPutin and his immigration lapdog Miller, example of chain migration. Apparently, chain migration is okay if they can afford a few nights at Mar-muy-Largo. Or did the country get full after TrumPutin and his boys got the labor they needed for their resorts?
No, the country is not too full of immigrants. It is too full of TrumPutin's lies, bogus frontmen, and their scams.
Mulvaney, the interim guy behind the green curtain, says Democrats - meaning anyone - will never see TrumPutin's tax returns.
The rationale is that the voters have already spoken on that issue.
So, besides the fact that rules of law and Congressional authority are not governed by elections, even using the tortured logic of the Grand Sycophant, TrumPutin can only withhold his tax returns from the Electoral College.
The popular vote demands, according to the rules of the Grand Sycophant and interim guy behind the green curtain, that TrumPutin hands over the returns. The voters have indeed spoken, Mickey!
Then the nation will know the truth, either: 1)TrumPutin isn't as rich as he says; 2) he lies on his taxes; 3) he pays no taxes and/or gets a refund; or 4) all the above.
TrumPutin rails so predictably, and then rescinds his prior opinion in favor of one palatable to his handlers before he issues a third opinion, saying that his first opinion was what he really meant, only he didn't know it at the time, so he really didn't change his mind. He was just saying what he really meant before his thumbs got confused.
His tweet storms are so common, so predictable, and so pathetic that were they not his most coherent blatherings, they could be completely ignored. At least until Mulvaney or Kellyanne or Sarah Huckster or McConnell or some other lackey could tell us what he tried to say.
But everyone, even his base, knows that he's the barker, the shill standing outside the tent advertising what the real performers are going to do. They never let him participate; he's good only for riling up the base. Otherwise, he's too stupid to play. He gets to stand in right field on the playground, and his teammates hope no balls are his out there.
The Apprentice, D.C., with no one brave enough to tell TrumPutin he should get off the stage. So sad.
Incoherence is key. Make no apologies, and just keep talking.
TrumPutin's strategy has been to celebrate ignorance, embrace illegality, and resort to the workhorse of his administration - lies - at every juncture.
National emergencies that he invents after consulting with Hannity, Alex Jones, and Tucker Carlson; security clearances to anyone who can afford a membership at Mar-muy-Largo; claims of innocence based on the lowest bar that his AG can invent for an inveterate scofflaw and grifter; health care promises that fly in the face of blatant attempts to end health care.
Those are the highlights of the administration. Tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy, cutting regulations on everything from airplanes to food to baby carriages, favors to anyone who spends a night in his cheesy hotels are only some of the low points.
And all done with explanations that defy understanding and grammar, bludgeon the truth, and employ language that six-year olds find childish.
Oranges??
The Fear-Monger-in-Chief foments about Mexico's inability to stop migration from Central America to America. More brown skins threaten the comfort and safety of his base. Closing the southern border and stopping trade with Mexico will make the base feel like their hero is strong and tough, especially against the people needing protection from the cartels and drug gangs, and make Mexicans realize that they are dealing with a determined, incoherent, and petulant dictator.
Perhaps the President of Mexico should tell the Moron-and-Barely-Innocent-Liar-in-Chief that doing something to help end America's apparently insatiable appetite for cartel drugs would be far more productive than trade threats.
Unfortunately, because meth and cocaine, heroin and fentanyl are not produced and sold by the drug companies that contribute to his campaigns, it is far easier to threaten Mexico than it is to do anything meaningful to stop the opioid pushing from Big Pharma and 21st Century Medici families.
Better to have Mulvaney, Pompeo, Conway, and Miller defend his moronic and racist policies than to do anything intelligent about the problems. Intelligence is not something TrumPutin has any faith in.