Bolton and Pompeo want war, and they think they can convince TrumPutin.
TrumPutin thinks he doesn't want war, but isn't sure, so he needs Bolton and Pompeo to help him sound tough instead of stupid.
And Iran could avoid all this and become a truly rich country, if they would only book rooms at Trump Towers or not develop a nuclear weapon, in that order.
The Ayatollah could have a Trump Towers in Tehran, if he wanted; a Kushner office building, if he wanted; a line of Ivanka's chic hijabs, if he wanted.
All the Iranians have to do is whatever TrumPutin tells them to do. And let Bolton fulminate. And listen to Pompeo after he waddles to the camera and lectures them about American interests in the Persian Gulf.
Together, TrymPutin, Bolton and Pompeo are going to write a book titled, Foreign Policy for Idiots: How We Do It. And they won't need to put their names on it. The evidence points to them, convincingly.
MIGA? It fits on a red hat.
Steve Mnuchin, a name synonymous with sycophancy.
Defending "fine people" on both sides was crass, given what the "fine people" on TrumPutin's side were saying. Taking his vacations and jaunts on the government's tab is standard practice for TrumPutin's administration and even more standard practice for the Goldman Sachs team. Refusing to hand over tax returns and begging the DOJ for an excuse, which Barr was only too happy to provide, was a requirement for Steve to keep his job.
And now he tells us that putting Harriet Tubman's picture on the $20 bill is technically impossible, and the decision has nothing to do with politics. Even Steve couldn't bring himself to say that it had nothing to do with the racism of his boss, though. Sycophancy has its limits, even for Steve.
But no one believes him, except TrumPutin. And that is the only one Steve has to please, after all. TrumPutin admires Andrew Jackson, the hard case who certainly would have been proud to separate families, condemn Mexico for not paying for a wall to mollify his base, and TrumPutin longs for the day when he can march his opponents away in his own Trail of Tears.
Besides, Harriet Tubman would never have stayed in Trump Towers, and that is something neither TrumPutin nor Steve can forgive.
There are so many lies that TrumPutin wants to tell, but he hasn't the time in a day to get to all of them. So he hires liars.
Some of his liars don't last; they are indicted, forced to resign, or he judges them inadequate at making the preposterous acceptable to his base, or the Republicans in the Senate.
Some get tired; they resign to pursue other opportunities, most of them at Fox State News or with companies TrumPutin needs to mollify.
Some are terrible at lying, like his children and their spouses, but they need free trips and vacations. Others, like Wilbur Ross and Mnuchin, are terrible, but they pay the bills for the campaign. What's a grifter to do?
Then there are bishops and cardinals of lying that Trump truly admires. Pompeo, Bolton, Navarro, Miller. They can drum up the lies on Iran, immigration, tariffs. Anything to make the dictator wanna-be happy.
And when they tell us that, really, Iran did attack those tankers, and this time we're not making this stuff up, they want us to believe them. Idiots!!!
Tell it to the base - they'll believe anything. MAGA, or not.
Pompeo plods his way to the podium, where in the course of his somber explanation of Iran's duplicity, he tells us that the U.S. will counter any Iranian actions that threaten U.S. interests in the Persian Gulf.
Imagine that! Iran trying to exert influence in the Persian Gulf! What's next? Saudi Arabia wanting the U.S. to sell them billions of dollars of weapons, including nuclear technology? Oh, wait.
The Monroe Doctrine sucks, but Pompeo's Whatever Doctrine is worse. Stupidity explained by a shill for the benefit of his boss, an idiot too stupid to know any of the big words that Mike uses.
Nobody believes you, Mike. Not even the Crown Prince.
TrumPutin rails against Maduro, the only dictator he can't abide. Bolton and Pompeo rail against socialism, and cast Maduro as the emblem of that hated system.
And they ignore the similarities.
Personal plunder of the government for his own riches? Their man matches Maduro emolument for emolument, and then raises him a golf resort.
Familial gain? Yet TrumPutin employs all his children and enlists his wife to preach against all those bullies who dislike her husband and the fine people among white nationalists he adores.
Allowing corporations to regulate themselves, and giving petro-chemical companies free rein to drill anywhere they want and export the oil and gas for their own profit? Maduro is faulted for bankrupting his country and using its natural resources to reward his friends. Policies that TrumPutin, Ryan Zinke, and Scott Pruitt are envious of.
Maduro is hated by the NRC, but if he were the governor of Louisiana, he would be the keynote speaker at the 2020 Republican National Convention.
TrumPutin's PR team, the most vital group in his regime and the one with the hardest job, is spinning Trump's stupidity to claim that there is no case that he colluded or obstructed.
How can he collude when he can't even compose his own policy tweets?, KellyAnne and Sarah, etal ask.
How can he obstruct when his entire career has been a failed obstruction?, his attorneys all say.
They point to Mueller as the absolver and simultaneously the most vengeful Republican ever.
But Mueller exonerated no one. He did take some solace on behalf of the nation that TrumPutin, his family, and his advisors are all too stupid to succeed at colluding, though eager to join hands with Vladimir and his minions.
Mueller indicted convicted Gates, Manafort, and Papadopoulos, and indicted multiple Russians and Roger Stone, who waits for his trial, conviction, and pardon.
There is no do-over necessary, only the completion of the investigation of the most corrupt president in our history. We miss Nixon!
Kudlow goes on television determined to agree with his boss, a most disagreeable guy. And very stupid, with the arrogance to prove it.
First, Kudlow agrees with the idea that China pays tariffs. Stupid number 1.
Then, he says they sort of pay the tariffs because in a real roundabout way they might in fact notice the tariffs and agree that they are stupid. Stupid number 2.
Then, he says that China doesn't pay tariffs, but that doesn't matter because the tariffs are necessary because his moronic boss says they are necessary. Stupid number 3.
The next day his boss declares via his thumbs that, true, the tariffs are not paid by the Chinese, but the Chinese still suffer because of the tariffs and soon we will win the trade war. Stupid number 4.
And, finally, the moron-in-chief declares via his thumbs that China pays the tariffs.
Stupid 5 - The Economy 0
TrumPutin and the real Putin celebrated William Barr's version of the Mueller report in an hour-long phone call, where they also renewed their wedding vows and also agreed that TrumPutin's prior views on Venezuela meant nothing and that Kim was also a dictator.
The giddiness the real dictator and his Apprentice felt was described by the Apprentice dictator when he claimed that his idol smiled while stating that the Mueller report was "a mouse." That is a view shared by Barr, the Attorney General for both TrumPutin and Putin.
TrumPutin's celebratory phone call will be noted for his sharing the joy over his faux innocence with the leader of the country universally regarded as meddling in elections across the world. No collusion, indeed!
As either footnotes or features of the call, depending on the attention span of TrumPutin and Fox State News, the call also featured TrumPutin's acquiescence to Putin's Venezuela policy and repudiation of his Secretary of State, and an agreement that North Korea could de-nuclearize without actually de-nuclearizing.
Pompeo will issue a statement that agrees that TrumPutin's view of Russia'a Venezuela policy is what the Secretary of State meant when he stated the opposite earlier in the week, and vice versa. Sarah Sanders said the same thing immediately before she said the opposite, and vice versa. MAGA?
William Barr, heavy-jowled and thin-skinned, like his dictator, tells the country, "Don't believe what Mueller writes, believe what I tell you."
And then he lies, or prevaricates, or selects phrases, or invents what he wants to believe.
"There was no collusion," Barr says.
Not for lack of trying, Mueller explains.
"There was no obstruction, no indictments," Barr says.
We would have exonerated Trump if we could, Mueller explains. We cannot.
"Total exoneration," the dictator-in-chief crows.
We won't indict a sitting president, Mueller explains. After he leaves office, who knows?
Keep your lawyers, TrumPutin. Except Rudy, he doesn't help you.
Barr wants to save his dictator. So he does what not even Jeff Sessions would not do. The administration that diminishes those who serve it. Mutual self-destruction as policy. MAGA?
A recent report states the billionaires are worried over the state of capitalism. That worry has been set in motion over the poor view that the less wealthy have of them, and the movement to make billionaires pay their share of taxes.
So the richest in America worry that their continued obscene wealth is at risk of being diminished by even the smallest amount. They worry that the corporate tax rate cut from 39% to 20% will somehow be seen as unneeded enriching of corporations, with no value for working America. Of course, Amazon pays no federal taxes, and the effective tax rate for corporations like Boeing, Halliburton, Raytheon, Apple, IBM, etc. is single digits, not anywhere near 20%.
Hedge fund managers and those whose wealth is based on stocks, dividends pay smaller tax rates than most Americans making a hundredth of the amount that the wealthy earn. Yet Mnuchin, Ross, Jamie Dimon, TrumPutin tout their tax rates as the fuel for America's greatness.
Capitalism is not at risk, but the