TrumPutin's PR team, the most vital group in his regime and the one with the hardest job, is spinning Trump's stupidity to claim that there is no case that he colluded or obstructed.

How can he collude when he can't even compose his own policy tweets?, KellyAnne and Sarah, etal ask. 

How can he obstruct when his entire career has been a failed obstruction?, his attorneys all say.

They point to Mueller as the absolver and simultaneously the most vengeful Republican ever. 
But Mueller exonerated no one. He did take some solace on behalf of the nation that TrumPutin, his family, and his advisors are all too stupid to succeed at colluding, though eager to join hands with Vladimir and his minions.

Mueller indicted convicted Gates, Manafort, and Papadopoulos, and indicted multiple Russians and Roger Stone, who waits for his trial, conviction, and pardon. 

There is no do-over necessary, only the completion of the investigation of the most corrupt president in our history. We miss Nixon!

TrumPutin and the real Putin celebrated William Barr's version of the Mueller report in an hour-long phone call, where they also renewed their wedding vows and also agreed that TrumPutin's prior views on Venezuela meant nothing and that Kim was also a dictator.

The giddiness the real dictator and his Apprentice felt was described by the Apprentice dictator when he claimed that his idol smiled while stating that the Mueller report was "a mouse." That is a view shared by Barr, the Attorney General for both TrumPutin and Putin.

TrumPutin's celebratory phone call will be noted for his sharing the joy over his faux innocence with the leader of the country universally regarded as meddling in elections across the world. No collusion, indeed! 

As either footnotes or features of the call, depending on the attention span of TrumPutin and Fox State News, the call also featured TrumPutin's acquiescence to Putin's Venezuela policy and repudiation of his Secretary of State, and an agreement that North Korea could de-nuclearize without actually de-nuclearizing. 

Pompeo will issue a statement that agrees that TrumPutin's view of Russia'a Venezuela policy is what the Secretary of State meant when he stated the opposite earlier in the week, and vice versa. Sarah Sanders said the same thing immediately before she said the opposite, and vice versa. MAGA?

William Barr, heavy-jowled and thin-skinned, like his dictator, tells the country, "Don't believe what Mueller writes, believe what I tell you."

And then he lies, or prevaricates, or selects phrases, or invents what he wants to believe. 

"There was no collusion," Barr says. 

Not for lack of trying, Mueller explains.
 
"There was no obstruction, no indictments," Barr says. 

We would have exonerated Trump if we could, Mueller explains. We cannot. 

"Total exoneration," the dictator-in-chief crows.

We won't indict a sitting president, Mueller explains. After he leaves office, who knows? 

Keep your lawyers, TrumPutin. Except Rudy, he doesn't help you.

Barr wants to save his dictator. So he does what not even Jeff Sessions would not do. The administration that diminishes those who serve it. Mutual self-destruction as policy. MAGA?