TrumPutin claims it's the lightbulb that makes him look orange. And that it's bad, because apparently he thinks he's not really an orange guy.

So that's good to know, and since he's figured out what makes him look orange, now the question is, does he know what it is that makes him sound stupid?

Is it the teleprompter that malfunctions and forces him to stumble over prepared remarks? Do the big words run together so that he sounds like one of his sons trying to fathom a third-grade reader? 

What makes him look so fat and wobbly as he waddles up to the lectern? Who has coached him to imitate the Mussolini look? The jaw stuck out, a look of superiority layered with insecurities so pronounced that only a Marine helicopter or fawning senators can make him feel like a warrior not plagued with conveniently materializing bone spurs that prevent him from the honor of going to war in far-away countries?  

A nation awaits your next lie, your Orange-ness.